A Forgotten Journal

It's after 3 AM and once again I cannot sleep.  Two of my kids crawled into bed with me, and the baby is coughing in his crib.  I decided to get a bit of packing done.  While rummaging through the closet, I found a tote full of pictures and an old journal.  I started the journal, I believe, my sophomore year in high school.  I remember writing in it when I was 19 also.  I wrote down a few poems I liked, and a couple I wrote.  I would also jot down quotes when I came across them and bible verses.  I found a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald in it, and I'm pretty sure it is from The Great Gatsby.  I bought it for my nook yesterday, but I haven't downloaded it yet.  I know I owned the book at one time because I remember the cover.

"What little I've accomplished has been by the most laborious and uphill work, and I wish now I'd never relaxed or looked back, but said at the end:  'I've found my line- from now on this comes first- this is my immediate duty- without this I am nothing.'"

I think it is kind of funny I found this the eve of reading The Great Gatsby again.  It has been at least 3 years since I have even seen it!  Anyhow, here are a few quotes I acquired:

"Even if you persuade me, you won't persuade me." ~Aristophanes

"I can endure my own despair, but not another's hope." ~William Walsh

"So, one more day I defied, who knows but the world may end tonight?" ~Robert Browning

"It is sweet to dance to violins when life and love are fair:  To dance to flutes, to dance to lutes is delicate and rare:  But it is not sweet with nimble feet to dance upon the air!"  ~Oscar Wilde

"I cannot love thee as I ought, for love reflects the thing beloved; my words are only words and moved upon the topmost froth of thought." ~Alfred, Lord Tennyson

And then there are lines I copied down from books and movies I didn't want to forget:

"Lost people take the path of least resistance the narrator said.  They go downhill. He thought he had been lost for a long time then." (From a book by Stephen King, I think.  The one about a girl lost in the woods. I think...)

"What better way to practice charity then to keep a promise made to an enemy." (Not sure where I got this.)

"He stared adversity in the eye and beat it back with a broom." (The Legend of Bagger Vance)

"I found the stream, and the wild columbine- like little drops of sun in the green shade.  Sitting on the soft floor of the forest, listening to the stream gurgle and the birds chirp, I found my peace again.  This was my place.  I was as sure of that as I'd been of any single thing in all my life.  I belonged here as I belonged no where else."  (No clue!)

"Confidence could be learned.  It could be won.  And wasn't there amazing satisfaction from winning those small battles?  Every time you did, you went back to war better armed.  Enough dawdling, enough introspection, I am going to blow the last of my advance at the garden center." (Again, no clue!)

And finally, here is an old poem I wrote at some point in high school:

It was a beautiful day
There were leaves on the ground
My head was throbbing
There was no laughter around
So I laid down
Covered up with the leaves
Slowly closed my eyes
Then began to sleep.

As sudden as I slept
I awoke on the ground
My head was no long throbbing
There was laughter all around
I heard a laugh to my right
I look around and see
A happily playing child
Standing next to me
He seems so unreal, yet he's so alive
He looks so different
But as he looks into my eyes
I know exactly who he is
He smiles and waves
Then turns away
To jump and play
On this beautiful fall day.

Then the first smile of the season
Creeps on my face
As I watch this child play with such reason
In the leaves.

There is a bang from behind
And I spin around
Suddenly I'm awakening
To a day with no sound
I look around
There is no one to be seen
With a sigh, I sit up
And head home to clean
To clean away the memories
That keep clinging to me.

I think that is enough of a walk down memory lane! Almost 4 AM and I should try to get back to sleep.  Not to mention, I just tore open the cut on my fingertip from typing.  I cut myself doing dishes yesterday.  Good night! 

No, wait! Charlie Sheen...I cannot get enough of him!  I am not the type of person who follows celebrities, but I made an exception in his case.  I know he needs some serious help, but until then, I am going to enjoy the crazy things which come out of his mouth.  I even followed him on twitter just to gain the occasional smile throughout the day.

"Torpedo away... You corporate Trolls were warned. And now you've been served!" ~Charlie Sheen

What does that even mean????? ha ha     O, Charlie...

Officially done typing because blood is getting on my keyboard.  I think I should get some extra credit for this post since I worked on it until my fingers bled!  :)